back to blog!
Recently a lotsa things happened. i deleted my last post. Opps. alright
im feeling much better i think SO.

Recently, i have been thinking too much. TOO many things clogged in my mind and i cant really concentrate studying for my tests!Its kinda of irritating.

I dont know whats wrong with me.
As i get to think, it makes me think even deeper and and and and..i just could'nt stop thinking about it!!

That day, i almost wanna BURST.
But as i seek god, GOD spoke to me SOME thingY.
And he gave me peace in my heart.!.

Perhaps all i need is just listening ears.
i have the tendenecy to keep everything to myself and some unhappiness just keep accumulate in me.

I have been perfectly good at covering my weekness, I TOT SO TOO, but GOD keep revealing it. tsk tsk tsk tsk!!
I really feel much better after talking to jas!, she didnt talk much and she just listen to me.

That day, i was telling God..can i dont be a leader? or how about, can i dont be a shepherd? and GOD keep telling me to trust HIM. Perhaps, its e first time im V honest to god about how i feel?

There are lotsa things i wannna do, participating in F1 race..rare opportunity to work in hotel..that kinda of thiingyy..its a good experience..AND I KNOW I KNOW. And everyone keep asking me, why didnt i JOIN? i just could'nt answer.

And because of my commitment, im TOO careful! afraid of making mistakes, afraid of what if the dates fall on sat(svc)? or thur(cg)? or sun(dmm)? or Fri(shepherding)? and i have to put myself in that suitation that i have to chose btw one!. AND I SIMPLY HATE IT.

Therefore, i always feel so insecure. perhaps a little pride, afraid that I COULDNT set a gd example to my PEOPLE. and im just soo careful.

Perhaps because of that, i struggle VERY HARD.
When things doesnt goes right; i have to make it right. Even i dont wanan to, i need to do it.
Ensuring that everyone needs is well taken care of.
Before i do anything, i have to think of their feelings.

AND im struggling TOO; perhaps this is the servanthood that jen has been refering to.

=) im glad; i sort of overcome it. YEA

WOOAH; today is a NICE DAY!
VAN FINALLY TALK TO ME.
ITS LIKE COLD war for quite a while.
Perhaps; i always nv join u guys for any outings, and simply just say "no, icant" when u guys ask me Out, BUT i really care for you guys. I really hope that u guys can trust me..Trust my character at least.....
Lets go chalet shall we? I promise. promise.promise.!!!!!

i have some tots in my mind.
cant really figure out.
Blog again SOON. WOAH