My heart feel very heavy right now at this moment.
After shepherding w SAM, i feel very sad. Perhaps its our last shepherding.
I have been telling myself to look at the positive side! yea! sure i am. But the feeling of sadness just overwhelm me so much. I have been telling myself to practise self-control. For the past two days, i'hv seen two sister crying infront of me, when i saw them crying, there are tears in my eyes. i tried very very hard to control it. im sucks at comforting pple, all i can offered perhaps is hugs and listening ears. But today, i really cant control my tears, i cried infront of my sheep sam. After all, im still human i do FEEL what people are going through and so much wanted to help, but i could;nt do much. GOD is still in control, and that whats make me smile.

SAM gg to another church, reason: shall not reveal much about it.
Im gg miss her for sure.

At this monent, there are mixture of feelings gg through my mind.

SAM have been under me for 3months+, i consider her as my first sheep! SAM is not my fruit, and i get to know SAM through GOD' PLAN. One of the youth bro brought her in and she happen to join us for DESIRE ESS and she COnverted. I took initiative to talk to her and get to know her. Initially when jenny told me im gg to be her shepherd, i was kinda of HUH. Its kinda of scary when i first met her up, i dont know what to say and how to bring her closer to GOD. But all i do is keeping praying that GOD w touch her heart and remind her that GOD is in her life. Our first shepherding was kinda of screw up, i rem I was LATE; i fall down and my skirt was dirty. phew, thank GOD that i managed to deliver his word to her. =)

i rem that day when i need to holy spirit bap her, i was kinda of scared. Because its my first time dd SO but still GOD want me to trust in him. From there, SAM faith grew as she received the HOLY spirit and i really thank GOD for that. I can feel the JOY in ME.

I rem one of the shepherding, SAM told me that she want to do more FOR GOD and strengthen HER faith. i can see that desire in her, there are tears in my eyes! REJOICE REJOICE. i FEEL SO HAPPY when i see my sheep GROW! I REALLY THANK GOD FOR THAT! HE answered my prayer again!

i rem one of the svc, when pastor jeff preached about being a shepherd and lead his flock. i saw SAM, w/o hestiation went down and responsed to GOD. AT that moment, i cried. Tears of JOY overwhelmed me! Again, i thank GOD for that! =)

just as i rem, that day sam could'nt GO to svc because she wanted to go FOR JUMP concert w her friends, i was kinda of- ya know dont noe what to do, i can sense that shes quite firm in her decision. So i allow her to go, i know her problem of priortising GOD in her life. I am figuring out VERY hard how am i suppose to bring this issue to her and make her understand the importantance of priortising. AND i keep praying and when i told her that, she recount to me 3 inccidents that she didnt attentd church: 1)jump 2)sick 3) attend furneral and she told me she feel bad. And she told me she want to grow in this area too! WOAH, thank GOD for that!!

And i rem, that day SAM met w accident. IM SUPER WORRY!! At that point in time, im ald in my sleeping mode. After knowing that she met with car accident, im super awake le. i picked up bible from my bag and start praying to GOD. I REALLY THANK GOD that SAM have recovered. =)

and and i rem, that day im sick. SAM drop me a message! that was comforting=) tot im kinda of sick that day, i thank GOD that he gave me strength to share his word to SAM. That day, after shepherding my head was really terrible, still have to study for exams. But thanks GOD, im sick in the later part of the day and not in the morning when i shepherd her. =)

and and and and i rem, that day BIZART3 retreat after exams, sam was sick! she have sore throat! and yet she came for KTV! i really thank GOD for her faithfulness in serving him. THAT day CG, she have family stuff and she came over CG at 8pm+, tot shes very late yet she came too. AND last week, she really very sick and she came to church halfway but she took wrong train and ended at wrong station, i allow her to go home rest. TOT she didnt managed to come church but i really can see her desire to SERVE and faithfully doing HER very BEST.

and and these few days, SAM didnt send me HER QT!, i have make it a POINT that both my sheeps must send me QT!! i started to think what happen her? and i kinda of reminded her to do! but still i'hv not received any emails from her. sign!, i started to think negatively.

and today, sam gave me sth! a box filled with things! and i saw 4 letters, and it really makes me cry. it was her QT learnings for the past few days!. im touched. i dont know what to say?=)

SAM: really thank GOD for your contributions in CG and church. you are someone who is FAITHFUL in doing his work. Someone who GOD want to use to impact and transform lives. Someone who encouraged me and impacted my life, Someone who LOVES people, someone who is BRAVE of sharing his words. I learnt a lot from you too!, you are someone who have the potential to DO MORE FOR GOD. i have seen how much you grown from someone who takes things lightly to someone WHO take the WORD of GOD seriously. you have live your life to the fullest so far, i'll keep you in prayer! i have a lot of things to tell you. i hope i will control my tears..as i gg to affirm you..okay its very hard for me to NOT TO feel sad..EERRRHH samsam tsk tsk tsk tsk.